A few days ago I was going to my mailbox which sits atop a short but steep hill.  I decided to run for no particular reason and when I reached the top I thought about how 5 years ago I couldn’t run at all, let alone uphill.

My life is completely different now.

Over the years, I have lost and gained weight too many times to count.  At present day, my body is not what anyone would call “ideal”.  I could list off the flaws for you, but I don’t want to do that.  I want to be kind to myself.  Because this body of mine will do pretty much anything I ask it to.

I can run, bike, hike, swim, dance, play, stretch, and sleep soundly.  It is strong and healthy. So, on this day at the mailbox, when I am marveling at the chasm between five years ago and now, a familiar voice spoke up in my head.

“Sure, but you could still stand to lose 20 pounds.”

Why am I so cruel to myself?  (maybe you can relate?)  I try not to think this way, but it’s a constant battle.

As I stood there at the mailbox with these conflicting voices going around in my head, a thought entered my mind with such force I haven’t been able to forget about it since.  It was this:


I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what this means.   Can I just decide this and then make it so?  I think yes.  And, I’m going to try.  But instead of thinking of it as a constant battle, I am thinking of it as a practice.

I have so many thoughts on this subject that for months, I have actually been keeping a dedicated notebook in which I collect articles, ideas, and thoughts.
I wanted to blog about them as a way to sort through, and solidify them in my mind.  But, I also wanted to have a conversation with anyone that might have a different perspective or insight to share.

If loving your body is something that you struggle with too maybe you’ll join me?

PS.  I can’t even believe how scared I am to click publish right now.  What’s up with that?